LOCKDOWN HUMOUR WITH MA

Disclaimer: As there are readers from around the globe, some may find it difficult to comprehend some words, here is the list. Goja, Singora and Jalebi are rich Indian sweets loaded with extreme sugary fat. Aloo pitika (mashed potatoes), Bhat and Dali (Dal, pulses) is the regular amount of carbs and protein Assamese folks of India eat. Aiyo is an Assamese word for exclamation to depict pain. Roshogolla is a Bengali sweet made from milk.

The combination of dancing ballet in Bollywood song is as same as eating Cheetos with jam.

And, as you have rightly guessed, Ma is my mother.


Matriculation Examination burdened on tensions

So, lockdown came to save my day

But soon as this started, all plans to nowhere bombarded…

And for all I do know,

Routines and Disciple now rest in peace, in their respective graves.

But Ma was the hilarious lockdown specimen to look at

For she was hooked. To what? As usual, it’s Facebook.

In a pensive, of what to cook, and how to share,

The titillating glazes of all her foods

In all the Aunties’ groups.

Well, the end of the rope was then,

When Ma’s overwhelming doting on me

Made my temperature shoot higher with anger:

In fact, you could make the good ol’ fish and chips,

On my head (yes, for sure), if you are ready with the fryer.

‘Cause miliseconds after nanoseconds, she pests me

“What would you love my sweety?

Shall I make some goja, singora or jalebis?

Aiyo, my heart! It’s fine.

Only that one starving, dying child is melting it inside

‘Is she kidding?’ my eyebrows raise in terror

With uncertainty of the global food security, what is she talking?

I feebly smile,

“Na, ma, it’s fine with the regular aloo pitika, bhaat and daali.”

But don’t get beguiled with the sugar crusted apple-pie or roshogolla love

For when she’s, in turn, annoyed by my handcuffs to mobile

She bellows orders from the sofa,

“Can’t you, you terrible lil bastard,

Like me, see it from afar

The clods of dust, settling and snuggling close on the furniture?

Fetch the cloth and get the work done!”

“Ma, there’s nobody coming,” I grimaced

“You lil brat, don’t make that face,”

Says my ma, “You do know how I payed

For the deceitful luxury of the varnish to stay.”

But as evening dawns (or dusks, you may)

She slouches on the bed, her face rests on her cupped hands

Storming her brain on what to do

To beat the lockdown greys and blues

So, I sing in my bathroom voice

Bollywood oldies and romantic tunes.

Jostling up, she clasps my hand, and to Indian songs,

We then slow dance traditional balls and ballets.

This ain’t even an inch closer to what my Ma and I look like

7 Ways to beat the Lockdown Blues #teenedition

People, I get it, everybody does: you are freaking bored to sadness these days. Who wouldn’t be? The viral pandemic has either got you hooked to the TVs or phone screens scrolling through the bad news of cases, deaths, extension of lockdown and people boasting and posting about how productive they have been. And then, on top of that, comes the range of influencers all smiling their flashiest teeth, doing hardcore workouts or making tiktok entertainment.

In fact, you are so bored that reading an article like this is testing your patience to scroll to the end, right?

15 Painfully Relatable Bored Memes

Join the group, people. With doubling information throughout internet regarding anything and, seriously, about everything, it has muddled your mind, suppressed your patience. And patience has got so vanished from your life that you might be having a difficult time even resting for peace to thought about what to do to beat the quarantine blues.

Look no further, here is the scroll down list of what you can do to be at your best self these days, not meaning it to be hardcore, high-energy filled productive race, but a time of learning to keep your mind sane.


◎A To-Do List

Admit it, people, you have, keep an activity check on Instagram about limiting your screen time on social media, while some, on the other hand keeping Forest app or such time-checking apps, then suddenly, after the exams gone and none seem coming in the henceforth days, you are high on fire diving in the screen, and to hell are gone those disciplined days.

Now, to be frank, when you lose discipline, or a schedule, you may say, your daily routines get crazy. You are then stuck ‘with what to do now’ or more like, ‘what did I before this pandemic started?’ Honestly, things have gone turbulent, but you still can responsible to be on a steady track. How?

To-do list, check it, check it, check it.

How To Write A To Do List That You'll Actually Stick To

If you are the person who seems like you have a lot of things to do but not finding the right motivation, keep yourself organized and grounded with a to-do list, so when night comes and you look at the works you have completed, the night’s gonna be a real good night.

If to-do list is not your thing, maintain a journal if you wish to note down what you have done in a day (even if waking up from sleep, scrolling the news feed ;)) as long as you get this habit of jotting down your works or feelings, a routine will be set to beat boredom blue and black.


◎Start a diary

If you’re blurred with a notion of shy introverts penning down thoughts, emotions, sentiments in a notebook called diary, you’re wrong in thinking that diary are for the shy ones and right in just getting a idea of what diary is. Introverts, extroverts, ambiverts, whatever you deem yourselves to be, you are firstly a human with thoughts getting high in your brain, or incedents you might wanna remember or laugh at.

Now, is like the perfect time to be in a bliss talking to patient, unreactive, non- judgemental papers about how you maybe drowning in lonliness these days when you should be beeathing in the new life spring offers you.

The angst that boils inside because of not being enjoy the sky, the smiles, the crowds, the faces, pen it down. Who knows one day, when the battle against the virus ends, those papers may carry the nostalgic blues of once-in-a-lifetime experience of humankind and may enter the pages of 21st century history. See, my thoughts are getting high now?

Hidden for 40 years: Renia Spiegel's second World War diary
you, me got whole lotta history

◎ Poems, Songs, Art or talk to somebody

Illustration of writing red-hair girl, who lying on the carpet ...

With the hollow feelings in the heart, there is undoubtedly not a speck of motivation to take the pen or paper while the hung-down feelings bog you down.

Now what I want you to do: take a breath, reflect upon the sorrows and unleash all of it in a creative outpour of songwriting, poetry or art or dance or whatever suits you the best. Or if need be, talk to you closest ones about your sorrows.

As long as you get the the sorrows out of the mind, you will be surely hella fine.


◎Help the needy

I swear to God, even if you are not a business philantrophist, helping the needy isn’t out of your leagues. Go share some food to the stray dog aimlessly roaming around or contribute to the PM fund or share good vibes for the sad folks.

When satisfaction and gratitude sets in the heart, so does joy.

Why Science Says Helping Others Makes Us Happier

◎Exercise, fellas

Siblings or parents, with whomever you are with, workout with them to let the sweat drip and flow. Because once after that happens, the body will scream to your mind in gratitude.

Make sure, you’re not hyped up to break your limbs and bone! Stay fit, stay healthy.

The best time of day to exercise, according to the creator of a ...
this will be us, haahhahaha

◎ Start some new resolutions

Oh, well, the humankind is making resolutions, from the government preparing to battle VUCA troubles to us, mere mortals, planning what to particualarly do something in one day; so, it is never too late to chart out plans you wish to do after the period ends.

Truth is and admit it, this unbattled drudgery has taught us many things, about how ungrateful we were to earth or how grateful we are to have people called family. So, pledge to be a good citizen of the earth, pledge to be thankful of to be living, pledge to atleast not hurt earth anymore and stop being sadistic and be compassionate.

The earth needs nothing more than good people.

7 New Year's Resolutions for Career Success in 2016 | Inc.com

◎Movies and Books

I told ya, this is not a productive race but a test to our levels of sanity, and to bash up lockdown griefs, go and dive onto thw world of movies. If you aren’t carried away by stimulating scenes, then dive into some trilogy or collections.

Enter the Harry Potter world or the faction-driven universe of Beatrice Prior in Divergent series or peeking a glance at Feluda’s creation while rofling; English books available on the ANYBOOKS app on Playstore. And for films, Netflix or Hotstar or Prime or our good, old TV always come to rescue.

Can you be a writer if you don't like to read? - Shaunta Grimes ...

So, people, as long as boredom and the slight tilting towards depression gets mitigated, trust me, Quarantine period won’t be labelled as a boring, saddening period but a hope of reviving humankind to be good, working for the best for the healing planet and healing selves.

Hasta la vista, expect the worst, prepare for the best!

The Farmer’s Plight

It was a warm morning hearlding a clear day, the clouds hanged above lazily and the breeze blew over the tilled and sowed fields. The hillocks the bounded the edges of the paddy acreage stood as a valiant guards, protecting Kisan’s crop from impending danger of God knows what.

But Kisan had been expecting the looming grey clouds across the other side of the sky to bring him the good news of a plentiful shower for the final irrigation of his field. How had he been impatiently waiting for the Rain God to alight on his field, bless it by quenching its thirst. And after this last sprinkling, miser Kisan will make a fair profit of his crop without spending much for its tending and growth.

Yes, it was a sunny morning until it rained and along the overflooded irrigating canals, it brought the endless joy for the farmer.

The weather pleasantly unleashed its offering of the raindrops. But as moments passed by, a loud roar of thunders split from the black clouds and then Krishna smiled to himself, looking at the sea of green in front.

After stealthily drawing the adjacent irritating pipes from the next field to water his own, and now waiting for the nature to show its monsoon grandeur, Kisan had successfully managed to be at the top of misery game.

Only things took an unpredictable turn. The rain transformed to a storm, the water lashed the fields, the canals brimmed. The crops swayed to and fro with the gushing wind. The rain didn’t stop itself. It went on and on, rampaging on the labour of Kisan, on his less of a hard-work and more of his smart-work.

He wondered why had he not trimmed the field before the harvest festival could begin, or why could he not just store the seeds and the crop in the sill and managed to earn a fair profit too.

Not a careful thought struck his head, money muddled his mind. The smart-work seemed to ease his burden of labour, labour he hadn’t done really much except planning when and how he’ll use the water of the next field or shift the bund separating both fields a little or to start a quarrel accusing the other side of unfair playing. His mind worked, but his body did not.

The next morning, the sunrays peeped through the clouds, and this time bringing in the news that one can less expect any storm or shower in the week but bright, clear days. Kisan glanced at the neighbouring field, its paddy harvested and neatly sold to flour factories. But there remained him, reflecting on his bad luck, his head resting on his fisted hand, looking at his devastated field.

Maybe, every creation of God has two sides, but then again karma too exists to teach one a good lesson.

Leibster Award! Wait, What?

A fellow blogger of mine in the WordPress world nominated me for the Leibster Award. And she’s none other than Niharika Gurusahani, whose blog site theniharikadiaries is one heck of a creative outpour of poetry to dive into. Filled with enchanting words, enchanting topics and enchanting prosetry, Nikita won’t fail to enchant you. So, hurry, check it out!

Thanks to my bad pronunciation, I read it aloud as Lie Bastard Award. Nontheless, that is me too.


Rules:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
2. Share a few facts about yourself.
3. Answer blogger’s questions.
4. Nominate other bloggers that inspire you.
5. Ask your nominees a few questions.
6. Notify your nominees of their nomination.


A few facts about myself:

Narcissist by heart. Beyond the screen is a person who has inflated like a balloon winning a Liebster Award yet struggling to win real medals and trophies. I am a teenager, who has luckily not faced any cyberbullying but bullying? Well, lets shove it under the carpet. Spirtual, Optimist and a life loving person, that’s what I am. Aspiring to be a social servant because I believe God had bestowed the duty to me to make all our lives a teeny-tiny bit better.


Question-time; time to act like a celebrity, woohoo

 1. What is your favourite thing to blog about?
This blog is just a notebook of an apprentice writer who is trying to hard to write anything and everything from opinions to facts.

2. What would be one thing that you would change that you did in your life?
I wish I could have dived into the bookish world of vast knowledge since pre-teens.

3. What is your favorite food to cook?
Patanjali noodles (Indian noodles) and Paneer gravy in which I always cheat the flavours by finally adding ketchup and soy sauce.

4. What does love from God mean to you? 
The fact that I exist in both hell and heaven makes me enjoy the life I have been gifted by God.

5. Hot dogs or hamburgers?
Veg hot dogs, I’ll eat the bread first and the munch on the sausage.

6. What is your favorite TV show to watch?
Suburgatory, Citizen Khan, Modern Family, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Brooklyn 99 and the more you name it, the less I have seen it.

7. What would you be doing if snow came to your city?
Make snow angels and snowmen, slowly sip coffee and do all the other cliché stuff. No, I’ll be mostly wrapped in the blanket eating pakodas and noodles. Oh wait, my ma is calling me to clear the driveway.

8. What are you thankful for?
I’m thankful for a family, an abled body, food to eat everyday, friends, enemies, internet, education, happiness and of course, life.

9. How long have you been blogging and how were you inspired?
It has been 1 year and 3 months. And when you suffer from existential crisis, blogging came to my rescue. I learnt about WordPress after hearing from my sister/ neigbour Dristi Ba, to whom I owe half of my life.

10. What country do you live in and for how long?
       I have lived in India for 16 years straight and I still don’t have a passport to flaunt a global lifestyle. But hey, I got internet.

11. What is your favorite food?
Spicy chaats, a type of street food from India.

12. If you had a chance to do something over what would it be?
Reset my teenage again. Being a teen is a tough job and in mi casa, my parents scream about their jobs.


I would like to nominate the following for the Leibster Award:

1. Pragati Chauhan, Melody of words

2. David Allen

3. Amittras

The questions remain the same…

Limericks

: Me:
‘Diti wrote on her hands
And always with a blue pen
About things that she never remember.
So, when the to-do-list became longer,
BLUE TATTOEs were on her body all over

: Jyoti:
There is a girl named Jyoti
When nervous, becomes sweaty
The day when she didn’t bring her note-copy
In her sweaty-salty river drowned everybody.


: Amrita:
Amrud had a face that was pitcher-shaped
Truth, sweetness, and courage she always had
So, when the class bully asked her if he was bad
Then, Amrud, the lion hearted,
Among all the peers, bravely nodded.


: Krish:
Modernity met traditionality
For the girl who never forgets her cultural history
I sometimes wonder how she maintains her sun-tan fearing beauty and studies
While juggling, on top of it, prose and poetry.


: Sreenidhi:
Sree had halo-ghostly looks
Sat in the class’s shadowy corners and nooks.
For friends, she dived into the world of satanic books
God-forbid, she isn’t reading about bhoots!


: Deeksha:
Deeksha had surging, hot, hot, terribly hot rages
On small topics, for minute phases.
So, the next time I mocked her
I did make sure it was near the freezer.
But out of control went her anger
So to cool down her temper
I finally had to call a fire fighter along with a power ranger.

More upcoming

Oh i met the girly girl to the rowdy ones, and i loved all of them